Week 11 - The Noise

Michael Singer calls it “the inner roommate” Eckart Tolle calls it “the Ego” Jack Plotnick calls it, “the vulture” Others have called it “the inner critic” We all know it. And it’s time to know IT IS NOT US.

We know that noise or voice in our head IS NOT US because it does not say: “I feel shame.” “I should have done that differently.” “I am worthless.” It says, YOU! “You are not enough.” “You should be ashamed of yourself.” “You will never act again.” So who is talking? It is the PART of you, your personality, your FORM that is your lower or base self. It is the part of you that is temporary and transient. The REAL you.

The HIGHER SELF you, the conscious, unending you, is a different voice. The still voice. The quiet peace. The all knowing presence. You know when you say “deep down” I know all is well? DEEP DOWN is the real you. We SUFFER when we identify ourselves with the fearful, untruthful, shaming voice. We drive ourselves crazy listening to the incessant noise of the Ego aimed to keep us small.

Seth Godin says the noise in our head is all about the following: 1) It needs a guarantee that it is all going to work or else it isn’t worth doing 2) It needs to be in the mood (and it never is) “The noise will get neither of the two things it demands. There is no one to make a guarantee, no one in charge, no one who can honestly say, ‘it will all be fine.’ If you need reassurance, you will definitely suffer. We suffer when we expect something to happen and it doesn’t. Sorry. Heads, you suffer; tails, you endure a journey filled with unpredictable outcomes. At least one path — the one in which you embrace freedom even when it doesn’t pay off in the short run, offers you the juiciness of being alive, of experiencing the inexperienced, and most of all, of giving the world something it cares about. And what about getting in the mood? What about the motivation you’ll need to engage in this life?

Our need for motivation is due to our need for reassurance. We are paralyzed with fear that it might not work and we let fear demotivate us, giving us the perfect excuse not to create.”

The NOISE has one job. Keep you the same. Keep you attached. Keep you small. Our job as artists is to create our OWN noise. A new noise. A noise that says I will go for it, without guarantee and because it probably WON’T work. I will fail knowing each failure brings me further on my evolutionary track. I will try one more time, motivated or not, because it is my birthright to do so. I will move forward with ALL this noise in my head, clanging together my own pots and pans and saying — “you think YOU can make noise??? Look what I CAN DO!”

Chuck Close said, “Motivation is for amateurs.” Let us draw on a new source. A higher source. The Source inside of us that says I will hear the noise and do it anyway. I will feel the fear and continue to move the ball forward. I will create because I CAN and because NOT creating is giving a win to a source around me that is too small and too scared to be worth listening to. And I am the one listening… And so I can choose not to… Now I am becoming a powerhouse creator of reality.


Jen Rudolph