Week 26 - Wonder


Elizabeth Gilbert, author, sage, guru, friend... Take us away...

“You will fail. It sucks and I hate to say it, but it’s true.

You will take creative risks, and often they will not pan out. I once threw away an entire completed book because it didn’t work. I diligently finished the thing, but it really didn’t work, so I ended up throwing it away. (I don’t know why it didn’t work! How can I know? What am I, a book coroner? I have no certificate for the cause of death. The thing just didn’t work.

It makes me sad when I fail. It disappoints me. Disappointment can make me feel disgusted with myself, or surly towards others. By this point in my life, though, I’ve learned how to navigate my own disappointment without plummeting too far into death spirals of shame, rage, or inertia. That’s because , by this point in my life, I have come to understand what part of me is suffering when I fail; it’s just my ego.

It’s that simple.”

Ah, the ego.
We talk about it a lot.
The Ego is like the mean girl at school who is always picking on everyone, and everyone hates her but secretly we all want her to love and choose us as her friend. She seems to have ALL this power.
All power WE willingly give her.

“Do not let Ego run the show, or it will shut down the show. Your ego is a wonderful servant, but it’s a terrible master — because the only thing your Ego ever wants is reward, reward and more reward. And since there’s never enough reward to satisfy, your Ego will always be disappointed. Left unmanaged, that kind of disappointment will rot you from the inside out. An unchecked Ego is what the Buddhists call ‘a hungry ghost’ — forever famished, eternally howling with need and greed.”

The yogis tell us the same.
That the mind is afflicted.
The affections of the mind cause us to suffer.
Always attached to recreating a past it loved, fearing a future it hates, or any other trick in the book to keep you out of the present moment, and your connection with the REAL YOU — your soul.

The Yogis tell us we are both form and formless.
We are Ego, Mind, Body, Identity...
And we are Consciousness, we are eternal presence, we are Soul.

Does it seem like a big cosmic joke to be manifest in this dual state?
Only until you realize the game you are in.
That the Ego and the Form was GIVEN to us AS A GIFT so that we could KNOW and RECOGNIZE ourselves AS BEYOND IT — as NOT it.

The Yoga Sutras tell us that the existence of form is to serve the master of the soul. Because we can see, feel, touch and experience ourselves as NOT our soul...
We can KNOW that we are one.


It is such a beautiful design.
Stop hating the game. Stop even hating the player. The player is what allows us to recognize the game.

So how do we know ourselves in communion with our Soul, when the Ego is only concerned with REWARD and WINNING?

We understand that the Soul works in contrast.
It only cares about presence, about love, about wonder.

It cares about the whole of existence EXACTLY as it is.
It stands back and says I ALREADY HAVE THE REWARD. I AM THE REWARD. Where is there to get to?
What is there to achieve?
It is all so magical, so complete, so awe inspiring...

The Soul came for creation. For art.
For expression.
For love.

That is who you are. You won the jackpot.

Your Ego has been so busy searching for a pot of gold it didn’t realize it already had it. It has YOU.

Find a mirror. Have a look.
Doesn’t it bring you to tears?
Look every day this week. Into your own eyes. Post. What do you see?


Jen Rudolph