Week 12 - Rejection

Week 12 - Rejection

So last week we talked about the call to throw ourselves in, wherever we are.

Part of the gift of doing this is that when we ONLY throw ourselves into the BIG stuff, when the potential rejection (that comes often in creation) is TOO BIG for us to know how to handle. When learn to adapt and adjust to pain and rejection in the smaller, easier things we can have better coping skills as they get bigger because they will.

I recently had my biggest audition. 5 episode recur. What joy! To be honest I have never even gotten an audition so big before! Yay! I used all my tools and had the BEST TIME. I used my nerves for good :) I played and enjoyed the process and...you know where this is going...I didn’t get it! And it mother fucking hurt. Ouch. It wasn’t a tiny cut, it was a hole in my heart oozing on my cute white couch.

But here is the good news. I love throwing myself in wherever I am. I make it my practice. I throw myself into dance classes and courses and films and work that is all shapes and sizes. So when I am bad or fail or get rejected which I do most of the time I learn to value my dharma of playing and creating over the drama of hurting.

Rob says in his book that Mark Ruffalo went to six hundred auditions before he got his first break. Six hundred. If I go to 5 auditions without getting a call back or a “yes” I start to worry. And catch myself. And throw myself in again. It’s my job.

Best selling authors get rejected from all but one publisher. Jordan misses 900 times more shots than he makes. Rejection is not a big deal.
It means you are actually in a game playing at something.

You are not being punished when you get rejected, you are being transformed.

As I have mentioned, I recently had a pretty interesting injury. One night after a movie with my friend I tried to walk and couldn’t. I just couldn’t lift my own leg. I stayed that way for (well as I am writing this 15 days).

It was like life was saying, NOT ONE MORE STEP!

Life wasn’t rejecting me, or punishing me.
There was nothing I did wrong.
It was a beautiful gift.
I learned more going through the stillness and listening this healing required than I ever have in my life.

Everything you are reading is what came out of me being rejected from life.

It is all a gift.

Rejection makes us scared and cautious if we don’t reclaim it.

If we don’t say how is this FOR me.

“Is there any way in which you are holding back because you were burned before?

Is there any way in which you need to let the past be the past so that the future can be something new?”

Are there any critical voices in your head that are running on repeat, holding you back from giving it everything you’ve got?”

These are our journal questions this week.

Where has a past rejection altered how you are LIVING NOW? Where do you want to reclaim it?

Perhaps you are being asked to reject something in your own life that you are not willing to, so rejection is going to keep showing up until you face yourself?

What an empowering week to sit and know.

- Natalie 

Jen Rudolph