the dancer part 2

Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.
— Brent Brown

Ballet class continues.  I am working my little tutu off.  Attending twice a week.  Stretching, learning new moves.  And everyday having to be so so humble.

This is something I am NOT good at.  And don't we love to only play games we know we can win?  Well, when we show up again and again for what we cannot master, the master in US gets revealed.

I came to notice (very obviously) in class that while all the other ballerinas were plie-ing "grande" and gorgeous, moving effortlessly towards the floor, my plie was "petite" or non existent.  The most basic move, and I had nothing.

Class after class my sweet teacher tried to help and instruct me.  Many stretches and a massage later I came to discover that my Achilles Tendon is not only tight. but locked and immovable.

Just when I was beginning to dream of my first recital (kidding...kinda)

Now I have had enough sickness and ailment in my life to understand that all dis-ease in our bodies is as spiritual and emotional as it is physical so I decided to try to understand what else was happening.

And of course when I looked up "achilles heel and tendon" the story in Greek mythology came up, and my jaw dropped.

My dear Spiritual master teacher Wikipedia said to me...

"An Achilles' heel is a weakness in spite of overall strength, which can lead to downfall."

F*#CK.

OK BALLET GODS I GET IT.

Oh but wait...there was more....

"In Greek mythology, when Achilles was a baby, it was foretold that he would die young. To prevent his death, his mother Thetis took Achilles to the River Styx, which was supposed to offer powers of invulnerability, and dipped his body into the water; however, as Thetis held Achilles by the heel, his heel was not washed over by the water of the magical river. Achilles grew up to be a man of war who survived many great battles. One day, a poisonous arrow shot at him was lodged in his heel, killing him shortly afterwards."

Where our parents held us.  Where we were CONDITIONED.  We are vulnerable.

And they did it well meaning.  They wanted us to be safe.  And we became deeply, deeply wounded.

But here is what we know.  Part of our conditioning is to have us believe that vulnerability is in opposition to strength.  That to be strong is to NOT be vulnerable and have weak human spots, but what we KNOW is that, THAT is actually the Achilles heel.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”- Brent Brown

What if this week we could truly ask ourselves, where have I labeled myself weak, to keep me out of the knowing of my own strength?  Where have I fought against my: sensitivity, brokenness, fear, shame, doubt instead of seeing those things as my super human strengths and artistic genius?

Where have I told myself that my vulnerabilities are my problem, instead of seeing the judgmental voice in my head who hates on my deep human qualities a problem?

Who do you get to be, in the freedom of letting yourself be all of you?

Dance away, brave ones,

Natalie


Om WorkJen Rudolph