Bonjour de Paris mes amis!
I am sitting here in a cute cafe in Paris and each time I check out what is going on back in NYC my heart fills with joy!
I was notified that the Actors Access Breakdown and the Breakdown Services Breakdown of a project I am cast in has dropped and the cat is out of the bag!
In the past few days it has been so exciting to see us all out there, submitting and working with the legendary Jen Rudolph back behind the casting seat and it has brought up so much so I thought perhaps the best OM WORK this week is to share the process all together!
People often ask me if my teaching or my other Dharma (purpose) that I do on the planet distracts me or takes away from my acting career. I have always been a huge advocate that the more of ourselves we bring into the world, the better for our art and this is a prime example!!!
One day, a long time back, the lovely Rob Margolies, who is a powerhouse producer, director, filmmaker and more walked into C.R.E.A.T.E. Months later he told me he was casting a new film and he was seeking a specific role of a warm, sweet, well meaning teacher and of course -- having seen me teach C.R.E.A.T.E he thought maybe I would fit the description and would like to audition. I had no idea what the project was. Who was attached or what the scale was. I read the script and simply thought Tim Realbuto's writing was deep, raw and truthful. I knew I would love even auditioning for such a great piece so I said YES! (Funny that is also the title of the film...not funny actually...of course).
I spent a beautiful afternoon with Rob and Tim and we PLAYED! How fun to PLAY in an audition room. To feel free and unattached. We just had fun and tried lot's of choices, unattached to which might be the right one. I let it go so completely afterward because the play in the room felt like such a joy that booking the role became a back burner thought. Literally MONTHS later, I got the call that I was being offered the role.
This was back in December.
Now, months later the film is an official go and the very talented Nolan Gould is on board. What a dream!
And the icing on the cake...Jen Rudolph signed on to do the remainder of the casting with Rob and Tim. I mean!!!!! Jen, who hired me to TEACH C.R.E.A.T.E at AGR, where Rob met and heard of me. The world is so small and cooperative incidences (coincidences) are always here.
And what I have watched come up in me these last few days is my sweet Ego playing with me. She sounds a little something like this....
"Now that the breakdown is out and everyone knows Jen is casting people will assume my relationship with her and AGR will have gotten me the part."
And even if people did assume this, would it matter I ask?
But something in that thought made me feel like it would invalidate what got it for me -- which in this case was me.
See we walk around this business wishing and hoping and praying someone will give us a leg up -- yet if our success comes from that we start to question our talent and if we would have gotten there without it. And in this particular case it was without it, but the perception that others would think differently even made me ask these questions. The ego is so slick and it never lets up.So the invitation is to ask yourself honestly about how YOU feel about YOU.
YOUR talent, YOUR value. YOUR offering in this world.
If you submitted to this project (or any project) and do not get called in, or you do get called in and you don't book it, what does it bring up for you? Or if you DO get called in or book and it comes from your relationship with Jen or anyone does that cause you to think differently about it?
There is no right answer but these are worthy questions to spend time with.
Can you claim your voice, your talent and your abilities and light with or without an advocate? Can you claim them within having someone go to bat for you? Because this is what thus industry is all about. SO the opportunity is to tune the inner compass to receiving help without drama. Without insecurity or questioning. To know YOU and what you bring, with or without a helping hand.
A journal practice on these questions could be a very useful practice this week. And going into the next phase of pilot season and episodic season to come.
Do you know your talent?
Do you feel secure it in?
Do you understand the gift you are?
Are you excited to bring it forward?
What else comes up?
It is not as helpful to process when we only share at our "destination".
And here I am at a type of "destination" with this project continuing to ask the same questions.
There is no THERE....there.
All we have is here.
All we can do is CLAIM what we know ourselves to be.
That is the calling this week.