By: Jennifer Onvie
Last year was filled with a lot of ups and downs for me but when you really look at it, it is all ups because everything is a stepping stone, building block, part of a slow forward momentum--if you are in the right mind frame to see it as such. But sometimes it gets hard to see it that way, we get clouded by doubt, negativity, a why aren't we 'there' yet mentality. There is no 'there,' there is 'here,' and 'here' is now.
I got close to a handful of projects last year. So close it hurt. But then I didn't get it. I signed with an agency. And then things got quiet. Panic set in. Just stay busy, do whatever is in your power to do. Energy carries over, positive or negative. Sometimes it takes more time than we would prefer, but eventually it does.
I had to reframe my my mind, I looked back on all those auditions I got close to getting. One could see them as failures, and I'll admit a part of me saw them that way. But then I started to see them as successes--I got in those rooms. And I crushed those auditions, regardless of whether or not I got the parts, I showed up and I showed up hard each and every time.
I recently had an AGR intensive with Adrienne Stern she asked everyone to go around the room and introduce themselves and say if they were union, represented, and why they were here. Everyone went around the room and most were non union, unrepresented--where I was just a couple years ago. It came to me and the person that was speaking said they were union and represented, by multiple people. It took me aback, I am slowly but ever so surely becoming the actor I wanted to be. It made me realize sometimes we need to stop, just stop, and acknowledge where we have been, how far we have come, to be able to see the possibilities of where we can go.
Today I am writing to you because I have an offer for a recurring character in the new AMC show Feed the Beast.
I'm in the pilot and one other episode and it's open ended of whether or not they'll develop my character.
Star Trek love.
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